They are similar resistances to those when first encountering a difficult or ugly piece of work. The inner voice says "I don't like it", but perhaps one comes across a piece of information - something about the artist, or how the work was made, or something else illuminating, and all at once there is the key to the piece. It starts to make sense and connect. Perhaps it starts to speak deeply and offer eloquence to something held within. In time, one may even identify with that work, and consider it a favourite. It becomes a part of the language or landscape of the mind.
Now, this does not always happen, and I do not dislike parts of the MA in quite that way, but still there is resistance.
When I left my art degree a few years ago I remember a dawning feeling of relief. There is an aspect that wants to be prejudiced when looking at work. I was free to look at art I liked and that I was drawn to. In encountering the other kind, I have certainly been more equipped to analyse why, but I could still walk away. In the MA I recognise that I must once again be open to letting in art because of its relevance, and not simply because I like it or not.
I am also resistant to a lack of judgement or discrimination I see in the art world, that everything must be accepted as fact along the timeline of art just because it has happened or is happening. I think it is really true that although we seek to see what each artist is saying or trying to say, not all artists are equal and some have more or less worth in what they are expressing.
I am resistant to the academic style of writing many of the course texts employ - rather humourless and characterless. Despite finding them valuable and enlightening, and realising that they will act as models for my own essay writing, I aspire never to think like that or end up using language like that.
While I'm ranting, I'll also mention the wrestle with an artist just doing it. I think I've been deeply disillusioned over past years in the academic requirements in getting artistic work exhibited. Curation has taken over. I have often submitted work to exhibitions where they seem already to have written the critical essay, and expect a thesis along with the images. I believe in the intelligence of art, and that artists employ intelligence in making. An artist painting in a shed may be just as reflective in their relationship with paint and colour, as one who has written of such in a phd.
We know this. We are informing what we do by study. I signed up for the MA after all, but there is always a part of being an artist which is untouchable and which must be protected. It is work which gets subjected to scrutiny - the artist is the self, and we all have different ways of inhabiting the self and subjecting ourselves to scrutiny.
I identify these resistances because I recognise them. I do not want to live for the next four years with vague feelings working against me. There's enough of that in life. In order to do a course you have to immerse yourself in it to a certain extent, to trust the process and go along with it, and not allow the healthy scepticism complete free reign.
I wonder if the level of activity required is really sustainable over the four years. I had hoped that a part time course would allow me time to focus on other things. Although early days, keeping up with all the reading and note taking and research and tasks thoroughly is difficult to manage between other work I do, making work for exhibitions, reviewing, assessing, etc. Time management is all, but I really hope I can manage to write another novel over the next four years also.
Four years is a long time, but will also pass quickly.
Having written this, I think I can identify the root of my resistances - I do not want to make art which I or anyone can only properly explain using "MA language" or degree language. You don't need a degree to watch a film or read a complex novel. Okay it may help, but you can have a complete artistic experience walking through a gallery, discovering a painting.
7th April 2011
Eleanor - for genuine, opinionated criticism try the review panel "podcasts" at www.artcritical.com. I just listened to and am reviewing the April 7th panel which included some valuable background information on both the Fluxus movement and methods of evaluating works based in Relational Aesthetics. Some academic artspeak but the personal responses and personalities of the reviewers comes through in my opinion! Jennifer :c)
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